How the cops drive
So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!
I get naked.
I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.
No cookies. Blatant nudity.
That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…
And there it was.
This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.
Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.
“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”
Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”
As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.
This was, nearly, one of those.
If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.
My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.
I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:
“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”
And inquiries such as:
“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”
Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit retard, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?
That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.
An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.
OMG ITS BACK
This shit needs to be published.
This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.
Air Signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius): Mental; messenger; the ultra matrix of the intellect; sensual thought conduct; voice; materialization of ideas out of nothing (air), connecting
Water Signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces): Soul, Emotions; the bathe in the collective unconscious; divine…
a small collection of somewhat disturbing, but otherwise entertaining posts
SO…as you know I like details lets figure out what the hell these stickers are? :’D I’m gonna assume they are decals some old lego set but lord knows which one. I looked at it on our high-deff TV on a FAR better BLU-ray player (the encoder on the program I took said above BLU-Ray shot with is meh) and looking at it we could actually make out some of the words very clearly (the ones I wrote in white). It was also clear that lower left one was a city skyline thing with glowy bars that reminded me of the cage around the kragle, and the top one deff looked like hand cuffs. I have no idea about the other ones (cept that obvious brick triangle and the pentagon is like jail bars but I dunno what the green blob is). My mom said it seemed like they were travel stickers but they visited various famous jails, LOL. Fitting though.
those are indeed prison travel stickers
gcbc visits prisons during their vacation
OOOH! Now this is interesting! Maybe it’s one of GCBC’s duties to regularly monitor and inspect prisons in all the various worlds - perhaps root out any Master Builders and transfer them to the Think Tank? And just make sure everything’s being run according to the instructions.
And that’s his only vacation allowed. Visiting prisons.
This would actually support a suggestion made on TV Tropes that Badcop is a “Punch Clock Villain: He only does what he does because it’s his job, and is quite caring of his parents. This gives Lord Business to keep him on the job permanently.” Link Wich makes me wonder if they had to sleep at the office to some extend.
It also makes one wonder if they had any kind of free time. After all they didn’t seem to even have time to call their parents once in a while. Suggested by Pa Cops immediate and first question “How is it going in the big city?”
I dont want to know the level of stress this would cause.
dont mind me reblogging it in the wrong blog at first mrrr…
He Inoa No Kalani Kalakaua Kulele.
Why do the movies never show us this Spider-Man?
SPN Cast - The Punk Years. (Might post more later when I find them)
Someone needs to add Mark Sheppard’s character from Sliders to this. XD
Ask and you shall receive….
adslkfjadlkfjadlkfjdafdf *falls over & melts*
How could you forget him?!
Okay but who’s responsible for leaving out Jared?!
they should start a band